Don’t Pass the Buck

The topics are endless…the friends she’s hanging out with are poor influences, she doesn’t care about her grades, the guy she is talking to is bad news.  But the conversations I have with the moms of teenage daughters almost always starts out the same.

“Will you talk to my daughter?  She won’t listen to me, but I know she’ll listen to you.” 

While the truth of the matter is I will talk to your daughter, it’s critically important that you talk to her first.

Unfortunately, it is true that a lot of teen girls go through a period of time where they aren’t interested in listening to their mother.  However, just because it doesn’t appear they are listening that you, this doesn’t get you off the hook as a mom from correcting and offering guidance.  Please, I beg of you, speak truth into your daughter’s life.  It will be hard.  They may roll their eyes or stare out into space.  They may say you have no clue what they are going through.  I mean, I don’t even have a child and I know how hard it is to put it all out there and offer guidance to only have them do the opposite.  But, that’s not the point. 

You are the mother of your daughter for a reason.  Please don’t put your mothering on hold for a season just because you are fearful she won’t listen…or even worse, you just want to be her friend instead.  You are her mother. 

Just think about it.  If you choose not to speak, she won’t have the opportunity in a few years to say, “When I was a teenager my mom told me that…I didn’t listen…but, she was right.”  You want that.  I promise, you want that.  Because when that realization happens, your daughter will realize that you have some wisdom to offer and you will find her willingly coming to you with her struggles. 

But, if you choose not to speak and instead pass the parenting buck on to someone else, it’s much more likely that your daughter will continue to go to someone else when she has passed through the teenage waters and is seeking wisdom.